S.D. Shaver (onalark) wrote,
S.D. Shaver

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on the industry, harassment, and how things will get better

I had a rather vivid dream of being sexually harassed at work, calling out the abuse loudly, and no one believing me. Even as my harasser sat five feet away from me, grabbing his crotch and making sexually explicit comments.

Of course, this has never happened at Blizzard, and the source of the dream is not my current employer, it's the SFWA Kerfuffle of the Month. SFWA! It sounds like a venereal disease when you say it out loud!

When I told my husband about my dream, he snorted and said, "Of course they didn't believe you. If someone ever did that to you, you'd kick their ass." And while I greatly appreciate my husband's admiration for my ass-kicking qualities, the fact is that I'm not sure I would. Like MRK notes, I have been trained toward a "ha ha" and "shrug it off" reaction to anything denigrating of my gender in my various industries. I've embraced the Liz Lemon/Tina Fey attitude of "Over! Under! Through!", and I don't know if it's right, but it's worked for me. It's the way my generation operates.

I want to emphasize again that nothing this horribly overt happens where I work now, but it did at a prior workplace, and I wish now that I'd been less of a wuss about it.

(But really, what can you do when your boss is negging on you because he thinks it's funny? He also liked to remind me that I should be grateful to have a job under his employ. There's a reason I don't work there anymore.)

Anyway: things are getting better, I believe that, and one of the way things do get better is that the assholes blithe enough to make this sort of galactically stupid observation stop getting work. When they have problems -- their game needs funding, they get laid off, they need someone to stop them from posting inane comments on popular SF/F BBSes -- no one is there to help them, and they dwindle and fade away. Alternately, they stop getting put in positions of authority where their backasswards opinions matter. Because women like me and men like Scalzi get promoted or voted in and we say hey guess what, that shit doesn't fly here. We raise our daughters to not put up with this line of happy bullshit, and our sons to not accept that they need to be unmitigated jerkwads to be "a man".

It's a slow process. But it works. And in the meantime, I'll keep pondering the over/under/through paradigm and whether it's worth keeping.
Tags: blahblahblah, rant!, ritur babbl
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