I appreciate the alternative suggestions to "deadly dance" that all you fine, upstanding, and (strangely) all male peeps came up with.

I'm going to have to find a way to work the "fatal foxtrot" into something someday soon.

To complete the circle: the bastards at Lush sent me a new catalog today, chock full of new stuff, thus kicking off my Lushday. But when I go to their site tonight to try some of these goodies? Yeah, no joy. Catalog only.

Of further interest and note: Apparently there's a growing possibility of Bubba Nosferatu becoming a reality.

IMDB has Paul Giamatti listed as Colonel Tom Parker.

Bruce Campbell...and Paul Giamatti.

Let's...uh...let's just let that sink in, shall we?

Cross another movie off the list: The Spanish Prisoner, featuring Steve Martin, the female half of Filliam H. Muffman, Al Bundy, and some other people I can't be bothered to look up the names of. It was slow and beautifully shot, but the dialogue was weirdly stilted and the plot's mystery hinged a little too much on the protagonist never actually looking at or inside a blessed thing anyone gave him.

Except for that one time, when it was important to the plot. BLAH.

Also, my calculating criminal mind had it 100% figured out within the first ten minutes. So, no surprises. That makes me sad.

A new word for my vocabulary: "lickspittle". Synonym for "toady", but oh, so much more descriptive.

Underworld is an okay film with some neat effects and dumb plot holes. Underworld: Evolution is a boring film with boring effects and ludicrous plot holes. It's the epitome of careless plotting.

( More ranting about the pointless dumbness )

I did enjoy hearing Bill Nighy (aka "Davy Jones") talk again. I love that man's voice and his way-funky accent. I can't wait to see what he's doing in Hot Fuzz.

One movie I admit inordinate fondness for: Keeping the Faith. There's something about Catholic Priest Edward Norton that is strangely hot. And The Illusionist is coming out this week, too. I know SoaP is also out this week, but I don't love Sam J. as much as I love Edward and his cute li'l lisp and pointy beard.

I came in to read some apps and crush some hopes and I wound up spending two hours trying to coax my PDA to download email. AN EXCELLENT USE OF MY TIME.

Clerks II: The Clerkening was pretty much Clerks I: Enter the Clerk with better direction, acting, and sets. In other words: if you liked the first one, you'll enjoy the second one, though this is definitely the type of movie you should go see with a bunch of people who are fellow Smithophiles. Depending on how much value you put on raunchy comedy, it may be a matinee for you. Just sayin'.

I know, all these movies! Crazy!

Oh, look, a new RSS feed called tentonhero. I wonder what that's all about? o_O

For those wondering, I have not had my house blown away by the "reported" "200 mph" "winds" that CNN would have you believe are even now scandalously ravishing the gingerbread homes of cookie-baking little old ladies and the sacred monasteries of Vestal virgins here in STL.

I was stammering today for some reason. I think my weak dyslexia is creeping like an insidious poison into the verbal portions of my brain. Or perhaps the strain of driving to work in torrential rains previously unheard of except during the Primordial Age of All Potentiality was too much for my peabrain to cope with. Here's a hint: if you can't see five feet past the nose of your Subaru, it's time to pull the fuck over, lackwit.

Several of my coworkers/friends/hetero-lifemates* are all heading downtown for a beer tasting tomorrow. I am not driving. This should tell you something rather important.


* Referred to in my own brain as the "Star Chamber".

Yet...another...movie.

I watched Underworld and, uh, what can I say? Apparently cinema vampires have a compulsive need to wear leather and cock their guns. (Huh huh huh.)

Some off fight scenes (dude with the whips, here's a hint: YOU DO NOT LOOK COOL), some bad acting (Shane Brolly, with some cringe-worthy Dramatic Posturing), and a plot I bet I could find flaw with if I bothered to think about it too much.

But y'know what? I won't. The style was neat, the sets were nicely lit, and that scene where Lucien's running behind Selene's car is the sort of creative special effect I like to see in movies that I borrow from friends. There were some nice betrayals and reveals. I can't wait to read the short story they based it on!

Uh, where was I? Yeah, basically, if you like the fight scenes in The Matrix, then Underworld is basically Matrix Fight Scene Porn with Vampires and Werewolves and Someone More Attractive as Neo.

Next post is about the contest, I swear.

Two movies in 24 hours? Holy crap. It's like I have a life again!

A Scanner Darkly...um....let's see. Amazing and trippy animation, Robert Downey Jr. -- and occasionally Woody Harrelson -- more or less stole the show. If you're me, you'll get to the Winona Ryder/Keanu Reeves scenes and find yourself instantly bored.

I never read the original source, so I can't tell you how faithful it is or isn't.

I can tell you that if the basis of the New Belgium 1554 beer is whole wheat toast then it was very faithful to its source, and in a tasty way, too.

All hail Blueberry Hill.

X-Men 3 was neither terrible, nor terribly good.

Here be Spoilers.  Proceed at your own risk.


Spoiler-free review: If you gotta complete the set, you might as well go see a matinee.  Otherwise?  The movie's pointless and angsty.  Though it doesn't spit in the eye of the previous two (which were not perfect, I warrant, but had some awesome moments), it doesn't nearly live up to the high standards of Bryan Singer and Co.

So....

( My feelings on V FOR VENDETTA. (**SPOILERS**) )

Enh. I'm a stick in the mud. Sorry guys.

How?

How do these things get greenlighted?

I'm off to boggle.

Gryphon aerial combat! Gratuitous use of firebirds! Lucy! Jaidis! Edmund! Lucy! Aslan! LUCY!

Okay, I can't help it. Narnia was my wardrobe into fantasy fiction, and the movie was more than I could have hoped for. Not Peter Jackson good, but still good.

I do wonder how good it would have been without Tilda, tho.

Never let it be said that my manic nightly writing has no value in the workplace. I had twenty minutes to do a complete write-up on one of our races for a media interview, which turned out to be No Problem when I Activate Writer Powers and focus.

For my next trick, I'll use Things I've Learned from Outlining Novels to give my gamemasters a collaborative framework on which to place the history and timeline of Riverhaven.

Leaf on the wind, baby. Leaf on the ever-lovin' wind.

I felt very "meh" about Goblet of Fire.

I am not someone who reads Harry Potter books. Honestly, I think they're decent, but I got over British children's fantasy back in jr. high school when I Narnia'd myself into a coma for a month. So I went into it with only having read the first few chapters.

I didn't like the first two movies (too long, too strictly adapted), I thoroughly enjoyed the third (go Sirius!), and I thought the best thing about this one was the Weasley twins. It was jaggedly edited, the music was awkwardly and incoherently scored, and the cinematography in general was dreadfully muddy for a fantasy film.

Yes, it's a darker story...but you have to have moments of brightness and warmth and richness, or the dark bits lose their impact. And while I can blame editing for the chopiness, it's only the director's fault if the film fails on an aesthetic level.

I do applaud the cutting out of the Dursleys, though. That lot can go drown in a vat of earwax-flavored créme caramel for all I care.

Broke out the ceramic heater for the first time in many, many months. I'm now dreaming fondly of January, when I can start my first garden seeds, and the utter and total lack of lawnmowing I will enjoy in the next six months.

Bravo was showing the "100 Scariest Moments in Film!" today. And while I deem film commentary by the Bud Light twins wholly gratuitous, I did enjoy hearing what Peter Jackson, George Romero, and various other writers and directors had to say about each segment.

Good fantasy has horror elements woven into it. And I love horror films, despite the fact that I am a bona fide horror pansy. But I can't not watch. Because it's research.

My ultimate goal is to make antagonists who are, if not frightening, are at least unnerving. I kind of like a literary Uncanny Valley approach to that. Something that's human, but just slightly...off.

Enh. Still working on it. :)

Viewing #3 of Serenity, this time with two friends who had never watched the show and had no idea what they were getting into. These people were not, repeat, not sci-fi geeks. And they loved it, want to watch the show now, whatdoyoumeanitwascanceled???

Yeah. Fuck you, Fox Network.

The only reason I didn't have to work on Sunday was because I had those two visiting. Audrey is one of my very few and rare "way back" friends. She and Ken are bonafide cat lovers, and were absolutely thrilled by my shy beasties.

The week is shaping up to be hectic. But my meals-on-wheels showed up, and I feel like a certifiable old dame. Yay, pre-cooked stuff!

Serenity is as good the second time. There may be a third time, but at this point it's superfluous. The DVD's coming out at the end of December, and I will be buying it. Nuff said.

Yes, I admit it: I'm selfish, I want a sequel, dammit. I know Joss will keep on making movies, I know the actors will go on acting, but I want that cast in that universe on that ship telling me more stories. I wanna wanna wanna see it. And if I don't get it I'm going to stamp my foot and I will get very choked up. Honestly. There might even be tears.

And now on to the one thing that is glaringly wrong with Serenity -- the name. I know that it fits and works and blah blah blah, but -- couldn't they have called it Pew! Pew! Lasers! or Western! IN SPACE! or This Movie Makes Your Penis/Breasts Bigger! or something descriptive and enticing? Argh.

MirrorMask was pretty, and if you're a fan of Gaiman/McKean you should consider going to see it on the big screen, but it was also lo-o-o-ong. It needed a tighter script, or a more deft hand in the editing room.

That said, Jason Barry's character was awesome; the "waiter" scene made me laugh pretty hard (in the "aaaaaah I've had that nightmare" sort of way). Several moments of dry wit were present. The costuming was lovely. McKean's world was very McKean, and it was a fun place to visit.

I don't think it's gonna fly with Ma and Pa America, though. The film is just too weird, too dreamy, and too long. I left it with a vague feeling of befuddlement. But then, it's being compared to Labyrinth, and I couldn't even finish watching that movie.

Garden beds tomorrow. And possibly Serenity again. I don't think I've ever quite felt this way about a movie. It's quite remarkable.

<geek>
Batman Begins. Holy shit. Someone got it right. AND IT WAS THE BRITS.

There wasn't a single person in the cast who was off. Everyone was perfect. And Liam Neeson. Oh. my. gawd. LIKE BUTTER. I was driving home and thinking that if I was just a tick higher on the fangirl-o-meter, I would totally be doing crossover fanfic featuring Qui-gon Jinn and Ducard. AND IT WOULD BE AWESOME.

I now have slightly more hope for the Ghost Rider movie, but only slightly. The writer for GR is the same as for BB, but the director is still the guy who did Daredevil, which was a steaming crappy crapfest of badly edited crap any way you look at it.

After the movie, we went back to the ex-roommate's digs and watched an episode of Justice League Unlimited as well as the first run of the Clone Wars minis. I'm sitting here making little lightsaber noises as I type. Geekgadageekgeekgeek.

Mwah!
</geek>