I nearly indulged in a whiny post yesterday about having a job, but then I realized how lame that sounded in today's economy and killed it. You're welcome.

Oh guys. I am digging Cell by Monsieur S. King and it's all because it's about zombies. I'm hoping against hope that he won't come up with some sort of lame technological/extraterrestrial explanation for what's going on in his book because, really, I don't care. What I care about is the characters. I am itching to finish it even though I bought it for the flight to Colorado on Thursday. I just want them to be okay even though, having read 'Salem's Lot, I am pretty sure they won't be.

I'm also reading Dzur by Monsieur Brust at the same time, and I'm...um. I'm lost. I'm still reading it because I love Vlad and his wacky sidekick, but at this point I have no fucking clue what is going on in the novel except that Vlad is doing things and thinks he's clever and probably is. But he's also given up on explaining why he's doing what he's doing, which is just Vlad being Vlad (aka Brust being Brust), and I'm cool with that, but I have to wonder if a new reader would be.

So this is my evening: read a couple chapters of Cell, read one chapter of Dzur, and then go to sleep and dream about zombies. Wake up, yell at zombies coming out of the central heating/cooling vent, go back to sleep. Repeat.

None of the zombies thus far have been Dragaeran as far as I can tell, but I'm hopeful.

Thanks for everyone who threw in their two cents on the laptop issue. It's purchased, and should arrive around the 2nd. I'd rattle off the specs, but that would be boring. Words like duo-core and 4 Gig blaze like falling stars on its webpage, and that's what matters. It was a deal, it was a steal, and we are all happy now.

Ugh. My lunch salad is 90% provel cheese. Evil St. Louis. Five zillion cheeses on the planet, and you pick the one that isn't actually cheese. Blah!

It is growing inevitable. Sometime in the next two months I'll be buying my first laptop in over a decade.

Full moon...rising...can't...resist...change....

Work work work. Busy busy busy. Work work work.

I was trying to decide between overpriced chocolate or overpriced flowers for the moms, then realized -- oh, hai, im a kickass bakr. lawl.

So I made cookies for the moms last night. Both the moms like the cornmeal-lemon-raisin cookies, so they got the cornmeal-lemon-raisin cookies. These are special cookies. They get a little freaky about them, the moms do. To date, I don't think the dads have ever tasted these cookies because the moms refuse to share. So sad.

There were five left over, so that'll be me and Mike's dessert tonight.

Recipe follows.

( Raisin-lemon-cornmeal cookies. Great with coffee. )

I totally drank absinthe last night.

Later, we went to Bailey's, where we were seated near a table full of clearly not-heterosexual gentlemen.

So, if I may be crass...I suppose I did see fairies last night.

(Please don't kill me, my super awesome not-heterosexual gentlemen and gentlelady friends.)

Help out local AIDS charities! April 24th is the 15th annual Dining Out for Life -- in St. Louis, at least -- and for those of you who already eat out a lot (like me), it's probably the easiest charity work you'll do all year.

DOFL is a day when participating restaurants donate a percentage of their revenue to local AIDS charities. Most restaurants do about 25% - 50%, but a few do the entire night's profits. That's pretty awesome. You can get a list of participating restaurants at the website. Yay!

Bon appetit!

What type of degree would best prepare you for game design?

Probably English would serve best. When you write game rules, or even when you describe how a game works to a computer programmer or artist, you must express yourself clearly and grammatically. An English degree helps develop communication skills.

Golly, that sounds familiar!

Okay, so he's not primarily a computer games designer, but still....

I'm catching up on Lost. I have three or four episodes to go in my TiVo queue, but I just watched "The Constant" (about Desmond and Penny) and I just want to know....

( If you're watching this season and have seen this episode, please entertain my speculation by clicking this link. )

And now, an ode to my Hungarian beef stew:

Goulash on the stove
Red as a babboon's backside
Suck it up, noodles!

Haiku. 5-7-5 adds a touch of class to any occasion.

Poll #1170009 "Man-Whore"
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

How do you spell man-whore?

I suspect the first is right, but when placed in the sentence next to "musk-drenched" it looks far too much like there was an explosion down at the hyphen plant.

Or, at least, how to get into my gaming company when you have zero experience. Other companies are different, and YMMV.

Anyway, here's what I know:

1. Go to a college like Full Sail and we might hire you as a junior programmer/artist/level builder, but only if your work doesn't suck.
2. Learn on your own, and become good enough that we want to hire you to be a junior programmer/artist/level builder/production assistant.
3. Intern for 3-6 months, if we're not sure about you.
4. Become a volunteer remote contractor (aka "GameMaster", aka someone we don't pay), do that for two years, and we might hire you if you're a) good enough and b) we have an opening.
5. (Other Companies) Work in QA until someone notices you.

Of all of these, #4 is probably the one we like best because it trains people on our tools without forcing them to quit their day jobs and move to St. Louis.

I am also relatively certain that #4 has gotten people into other companies. I know a good number of my staff have taken what they've learned, added it to a resume, and gone to work for other game companies.

And as for #1 -- believe me, there is nothing more heartbreaking than looking at the resume for someone who dropped an insane amount of money going to school for gaming, but in the end doesn't have enough of the right talent. I see a lot of hideous art portfolios. It makes me somewhat sad, because I know these people think they're good enough...but they're not.

Now, I cleverly left out "designer" on this list because as far as I know, designer is one of those positions that no one hires on unless a) you are freaky talented (I'm thinking the Portal and Counterstrike guys, here) or b) you have actually demonstrated talent with a shipped title.

Honestly, though, if you really are truly dead set on being a designer, do us all a favor and learn proper English. Learn to love bullet points and be able to frame an idea in ten words or less. A designer's job is to communicate and articulate a thought process so that the entire pipeline can understand it. It's not all that different from pitching and selling a novel.

Final caveat: All this is true at my company. Other companies differ. But some truths remain the same, and since I see this question a lot, I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Installing a new furnace meant $150 back from the government this year. Er, hurray?

I'm now kind of tempted to take Mike out to a steakhouse on Friday night. Just cuz, y'know, I'm stinkin' rich. From a furnace that set back my renovation plans by a year, and that I'm only able to pay off with story sales and the economic stimulus I'm supposed to get in a month.

On the upside: I'm getting a mountain bike! :D

Dear Young Artistes:

If you have never been published before, prefacing the title of your work with your name (a la "Angelica Strauss's THE VERDANT SHADOW") only makes you look like a prat.

The only creators this technique actually works for are the ones who have had planes named after them. Or Stephen King.

Next: why your cover art should not be done using clip art you got off a .99 CD you bought at Best Buy.

Love,
Her Bitterness

The game resumes tonight, with further ventures into the Night of Dissolution campaign. I have cramps, so it should be awesome fun. Roll reflex saves, bitches.

My week is stupidbusy. Baking - Thursday night! Dinner by Steph: Wednesday and Friday! Dinner by someone else: Saturday! I have a fine to pay, a nephew to get a card to, and a license plate frame to fix. I have all my tax information, so there's no reason for me not to do that, too.

Meetings every day. Meetings Thursday night. Improtant* meetings in some cases.

To my immense relief, me and the boyperson will be going camping next week, where cellular phone usage is spotty at best and no one can find me if I don't want them to. I'll probably take a notebook with me to continue outlining what I'm prototype-naming "Long Road to Ruin". Which is most certainly not its final name, but that's a good summary of what the story is.

And an April goal is to do the blog consolidation and be done with it.



* True story: Skippy Moore -- then a production assistant -- was tasked with sending out a major email to our customers about their accounts. After checking and double-checking for typos and grammar problems, he mailed it...with the subject line: "Improtant Information About Your Account!" Ever since then, if it's important around here, it's improtant. Possibly even redonkulous.

Though my talents are many, none of them rest in costuming. The type of focus and organization required to make a straight stitch are not in my realm of command. In my one or two attempts, I remember borrowing Lisa's Singer and nearly sewing my hand into the sleeve of the T-tunic I was trying to make for a Dragon*Con. My embroidery attempts were equally unpleasant. Knitting is much easier in comparison.

Still, there are days I wish I was handy at the needle*, because I would love to make Agatha's current outfit in Girl Genius.

I'm outlining, which means my brain is lighting up like a pinball machine about to TILT and that means sleep is beginning to slip like frictionless sand through my fingers. I woke up five times last night. I am yawning mightily today.

I'm also collaborating on a non-work-related gaming project...but we won't talk about that too much just yet.


* Originally typed: "...days I wish I was a good sewer..." But my mind is already in the gutter. I don't need to transport anymore waste than I gotta.

I always love adding "Game experience a plus!" to the job postings.

Like, some college dude will definitely read that and think, "At last, all my years of playing Halo are finally going to pay off!"

Not too terribly nervous sending the story to the first readers this time around. It used to give me the heebie jeebies. It used to be that sending these things out would lead to long sessions of me sitting in my bathtub under a stream of alternating hot/cold water, rocking back and forth as I scrubbed my arms and sobbed, "They're going to know I'm a bad person! They're going to know I'm a bad person!"

Okay, so that's an exaggeration -- but things really almost did get that bad when I'd send them to publishers and agents. Week-long bouts of insomnia, more waking up screaming than usual. Not really normal for me.

Now? Now, I think I'm going to go upstairs and check on the bread I started. I bought "Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day", and now I have semolina and chocolate breads rising atop my stove. Exciting!

In other news: blue cheese on homemade beef tacos isn't so bad. In fact, it might be "pretty damn good", I'm not certain! I expect that I shall have to try it again to be sure! Tee hee!

I'm going to bed early so I can make me some artisan bread in the morning. And because the story really is done and I have no reason to stay in my head tonight.

Story. Done! The closest I can get to done until I print it out and find all the stupid mistakes.

Whoo. This story is like a parfait. Which means the potential for fuckupitude is massive!

And not a moment too soon. My backspace key? IS DYING.

HA HA HA. VERY FUNNY, UNIVERSE!

I didn't eat much today, having focused all my zen-like calm on writing. Regardless, there's a large quantity of bean soup upstairs waiting for me to divide it into containers. And, um, Soul Calibur II. That needs me, too. o_O; Urgently.

Taki-scream!

"[It's] Art's job to say we're special, significant, glorious. And it's Science's job to say...[eh,] no we're not."

-- Radiolab, "Science"

(Paraphrased for clarity.)

Radiolab is my new favorite podcast for when I need to sit down and sculpt the hell out of some terrain. This American Life is my second favorite.

I tried to be a good little author and take my snow day to write.

Instead, I got stuck in traffic for three hours and came home with a headache and a ferocious need to stab things.

My Subaru is quite capable of plowing through snow. The nine million Nissans that St. Louis drivers insist on buying, however, are not.

My yesterday sucked, and it has served to leave me stressed and annoyed this week. The milestone meeting that starts in two minutes is going to be FUN.

Short story achieved. Lelia can shut up now. And so can Dave King.

Bed is next.

I seem to be spending way too much time on Facebook lately.